This Was Her Death
by Nayaholic99
Summary: It was all to much for Santana to take at once. Finn had outed her to her entire school and a commercial was going to out her to the entire state of Ohio. This coverup made her weaker. She couldn't tell anyone the truth, but she didn't want to face this. So she did the inevitable. / Quinntana friendship, Season 3, AU, Santana OOC, WARNING:SUICIDE and CHARACTER DEATH
1. Chapter 1

**So this story takes place in Season 3 when Finn outs Santana. I feel like they toned down her reaction a lot, I hate to write this kind of stuff, but if she didn't take it like she did in the show, this is my view (amped up a little bit). Quinntana friendship. And random but I have Sam and Santana still dating. Thanks for reading, leave a review if you liked this. This takes place directly after Sue tells Santana about the commercial.**

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Santana ran out of Sue's office in tears. She ran down the hall and to the deserted wing of school into the bathroom. She threw down her bag and sunk to the floor. Sobs jerked her body and she couldn't stop them. She heard Sue telling her about the commercial and Finn outing her in that hallway over and over. Santana's breathe caught suddenly and her vision blurred, another panic attack. Santana crawled over to her bag and got out a bottle of water, she uncapped the bottle and tried to take a sip, her hands were shaking so much that she dropped the bottle. Santana tried to stand and make her wake to the sink but fell in the process. She turned onto her back and tried to catch her breath. Everything went black and she passed out on the cold tile.

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Santana woke abruptly to the sound of the last bell of the day ringing. She sat up quickly and observed her surroundings, she remembered everything while she gathered her things. Santana quickly ran out of the bathroom and back upstairs. She kept her head down and tried not to make eye contact with the few people that were still in school. She sped up as she walked past the chorus room trying to avoid the glee club, and she collided with none other than Quinn.

"Santana?" Quinn asked grabbing the small girl's arm. Santana looked up at Quinn and Quinn's jaw dropped.

"Yes." Santana said trying to pull herself together although there were still tears in her eyes and her voice cracked.

"Are…are you okay? I heard about the commercial…and Finn…and you and Brittany."

"It's not even true, of course I'm fine." Santana said adjusting her ponytail.

"Santana…your eyes are all red, I can tell you've been crying."

"Quinn, I'm fine." Santana said sternly and shoved Quinn as she tried to walk away.

Quin turned and grabbed the Latina's arm, "Santana if you need to talk tonight just call me, I'm always here for you." Quinn smiled and gazed deep into Santana's eyes and felt a wave of emotions hadn't seen in her eyes for years. Santana looked right back at Quinn with her sad, red eyes. Before Quinn could say or do anything else Santana broke their gazes and quickly walked out of school. This was the last time Quinn ever saw Santana alive.

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**So that's the end of the first chapter. I have most of the story written already, but I just wanted to put up the first chapter and see if anyone likes it. I feel bad writing this kind of story, but it came to me so easily. Leave reviews. Thanks guys xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for the positive ****feedback from those who did. Anyway enjoy the chapter.**

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Santana drove herself home in tears and ran up to her bedroom slamming the door. She didn't even bother to take off her cheerios uniform before throwing herself onto her bed, curling into a ball and sobbing. She stayed like that for a good two hours before she stopped crying and just laid there. Santana sat up and thoughts flooded her head, how she would come out to her parents, or worse them seeing the commercial while they were on their business trips. She was terrified. Her brother and sister hearing that she's lesbian, what would they say. She hated thinking about it, she didn't want to have to face her family or go back to that terrible school. She stood up and started to pace around her large room.

Santana was trying to come up with ways to get out of this situation, when suddenly it hit her like a tsunami. And the solution was simple, just take her own life.

"No Santana you can't kill yourself. That would be even worse on everyone," she said out loud. She wondered into her parent's room and looked in their medicine cabinet. All their prescription drugs were there. She saw numerous ones that could kill her with just five pills. She took a few of the bottles and wondered back into her room setting the bottles down on her dresser. She walked slowly down the their long winding staircase and into her family's kitchen. She took one of their family's stationary that had their last name written on the back of the card. She took a pen, sat down at the table and began to write. Santana wrote four letters, one for her family, one for Quinn, Noah, and Sam, her current boyfriend. She sealed the letters and left them on the counter. Santana went back up to her room closing the door softly, as if someone was home and she didn't want to be heard.

Santana took her cell phone and went into her bathroom closing the door. She uncapped one of the pill bottles and poured them into a cup, she poured another cup filled with water. She looked down at the cup of pills and just decided to put all the pills she'd taken into one cup. She looked down into the cub now and there were about 15 or 25 pills. She looked up into the mirror and her eyes started to water. She reached into the cup and took a handful of the pills, raised her hand to her mouth, but she couldn't do it. She ran out of her bathroom and back onto her bed. bring her phone with her, she called Quinn.

It rang, and rang, and rang, and Quinn didn't answer, "Hi you've reached Quinn Fabray and I'm deeply sorry I couldn't answer your call. Please leave me a message and I'll get back to you a.s.a.p."

"Hi Quinn it's Santana…ummm I really need to talk to you. I don't think I can do this much longer. Please call me back." Santana hung up. She needed to talk to someone, so she called Sam, he didn't answer either.

"Hi Sammy, it's San. I'm about to do something I'll regret for the rest of my life…I just need you to call me before I do this. I love you Sammy." She hung up once again. She was starting to get nervous that no one would answer. Next she called Puck.

"Hey Noah, it's Santana…please just call me back. I can't take this much longer." She called everyone in glee club, no one answered. Scrolling onto the last person in her contacts she was trying to hold back her sobs while it rang, no answer.

"Hi Mr. Schue. It's Santana Lopez, you gave us your numbers when we did that alcohol week, anyway I really need someone to take to now. I…I…I am not taking this whole thing…very well. Please just call me back or have anyone call me at this number." Santana hung up and her head sunk, no one cared. This is what I deserve, she thought to herself, at their time of need I was a bitch, now it's my time of need and no one wants to help. She stood up and made her way back into her bathroom taking her phone with her.

Santana stood over the sink were the pills were and took one last glance at her face in the mirror. She forced a smile and saw her dimples. The girl that was once so full of herself and had the an exterior like a wall a bricks, finally broke, everyone found out her secret. The secret she was using to cover everything, and telling them that she wasn't actually lesbian would ruin everything. She would have to tell them her true secret, and that would destroy her, this was the only way she thought.

Before she downed the pills she wanted to call Quinn one last time. It rang, and rang, and rang as each ring went she started to cry harder and harder. When Quinn's message started she broke, her body racked with sobs and she dropped her phone. She picked it up again in shaking hands and left Quinn her final message.

"Quinn…it's me…Santana. Thank you Quinn, for everything, the past 17 years spent with you were the best years I could ever ask for. You made everything 10 times better. I know you'll hate me forever for doing this to myself but I can't live like this anymore. I'm not lesbian…it's just a cover up. No I can't tell them the real secret, it would be worse than telling them that I'm lesbian. But I don't want this…and I'm so sorry I can't tell you Quinn. I feel like I've failed everyone. I called everyone in the glee club, even Mr. Schue. No one cares Quinn, no one. Thank you Quinn, I love you." And with that she hung up on the world, on her "friends", and on her life.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks for the positive feed back on the last chapter. Enjoy this chapter guys. xxx**

**yanval: That's the thing, she's going to die before she gets to tell anyone and I'm still debating if she told anyone before she did this.**

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Just do it, she told her self. She grabbed handfuls of pills and put them in her mouth in groups of three or five, swallowing the water between intakes. After she'd downed the whole cup she sat on the floor and waited. 10 minutes went by and nothing was happening, it was taking too long for her, she wanted to leave faster. She looked around her bathroom and thought, she spotted her razor and knew how she could end this. She picked up her razor and carefully took the blades out. She took one in her hand and ran it along her wrist, vertically. She cut forcefully and deep so there was no way the doctors could stitch her back up and bring her back to life.

After she'd cut both wrists she sat for a while and let her arms bleed, she smiled at her cuts, then the pills and blood loss finally hit her. It felt so good. She picked up her phone and called 911 about a half hour after she'd taken the pills and cut. She put her phone on speaker and waited for someone to answer.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?" A woman asked.

"Hi…I took some pills and cut my wrists open, I need help." Santana said drowsily.

"What is your address?" The women said.

"52 Lima Heights Drive."

"An ambulance is on the way honey, stay calm. What's your name?"

"Santana, Santana Lopez."

"The daughter of the famous surgeon?"

"Yea." Santana said with a chuckle.

"How old are you Santana?"

"17…"

"The ambulance is coming Santana hold on." Sirens start to wail outside her house and she knew they were coming for her.

"I don't want them to save me." Santana said.

"My name is Ava, I'm in the ambulance now Santana and we're coming in, hold on." Santana heard the door being forcefully pushed open and the EMS people running up her steps. Everything was blurry now and she dropped her phone. The bathroom door opened just as she slumped over and her head touched the cold tile. She couldn't see faces, just light, and she could hear them. She went unconscious.

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"17 year old female, Santana Lopez, suicide, overdose on three different types of pills, slit her wrist in the process." Ava's partner Emily said.

"She's lost a lot of blood Em, I don't know if we can save her," Ava said.

"We have to, this is Dr. Lopez's daughter you said it yourself."

"I got a pulse, it's very weak though. We have to move her now." Suddenly the bathroom door whipped open and Quinn stepped into the room.

"Oh my god…" Quinn's hands covered her mouth and tears immediately started flowing. "Is she going to die?" Rachel and Emily looked at each other.

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**AN: Short chapter I know but the next few are pretty long. Leave reviews, thanks guys. XXX**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks again for the ****positive feedback on this fic, I really like how this is turning out. This chapter is short again but the next few will be longer. Thanks guys xxx.**

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Quinn stepped out of her mother's jacuzzi and wrapped herself in a towel. She walked out of her mother's bathroom and back into her room. She grabbed her phone, sat on the bed and check her notifications.

_2 Missed calls from Santana_

She unlocked her phone and listened to the messages.

"Hi Quinn it's Santana…ummm I really need to talk to you. I don't think I can do this much longer. Please call me back." Quinn had no idea what was wrong with Santana and sent her a text before she listened to the next message.

_Hey San it's Quinn, just got your message I was in the bath. Call you in a minute._

She locked her phone and got up to change. When she came back to her phone she didn't receive a reply from Santana, she checked to see why and the message hadn't even been sent. Whatever, she thought, she was going to listen to the other message and call her back anyway. She clicked on the next message and was startled by the sound of Santana's sobs on the other line.

"Quinn…it's me…Santana. Thank you Quinn, for everything, the past 17 years spent with you were the best years I could ever ask for. You made everything 10 times better. I know you'll hate me forever for doing this to myself but I can't live like this anymore. I'm not lesbian…it's just a cover up. No I can't tell them the real secret, it would be worse than telling them that I'm lesbian. But I don't want this…and I'm so sorry I can't tell you Quinn. I feel like I've failed everyone. I called everyone in the glee club, even Mr. Schue. No one cares Quinn, no one. Thank you Quinn, I love you."

Tears had began forming in Quinn's eyes and she knew exactly what Santana was going to do. Quinn locked her phone and ran down stairs as fast as she could. While she was driving she dialed Santana's number and put it on speaker. The phone just rang, then she heard Santana's message,

"Hi this is Santana Lopez, if I didn't answer your call…I probably don't like you so…don't leave a message. Bye!" Quinn could barely see through her tears as she listened to the message. She turned onto Santana's block and saw the flashing lights of the ambulance, maybe the ambulance had saved her, she thought. She stopped her car and ran inside, leaving her phone on the seat. The door to Santana's house was wide open so Quinn quickly ran inside and up the steps to Santana's room. She surveyed her room and saw the bathroom door slightly cracked. Quinn held her stance for a minute and held her breathe as she opened the bathroom door.

She gasped when she saw the situation, Santana was propped up against the wall in a pool of her own blood. Her wrists were split and her eyes were closed, Quinn could faintly see her chest moving. There were two women setting up a gurney to put her on.

"Oh my god…" Quinn's hands covered her mouth and tears immediately started flowing once again. "Is she going to die?" The two women just looked up at her with weary gazes.

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**That's the chapter! :) Leave reviews! xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: ****2 chapters in one day because I felt bad that the last few chapters have been short and the last one was kind of boring. So this is when**** sh*t goes down so be prepared. Enjoy the chapter. xxx**

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"Who are you?" Ava asked Quinn.

"I'm her best friend, Quinn Fabray, Santana called me twice before she…she…did this and I just got the messages, I got here as fast as I could. Please tell me she's going to live." Quinn said trying to keep herself together.

Ava looked up and Quinn with her mouth open, "Chances aren't look good now, but it could always change, miracles do happen." Emily barged in. "I'm Emily, and this is my partner Ava, We'll do the best we can. But right now we need to get her into the ambulance, her pulse is getting weaker and weaker."

Quinn stood over the woman while watching them put Santana on the gurney, they had wrapped her wrists in an attempt to stop the bleeding but it wasn't working very well. Quinn followed them downstairs and into the ambulance. She held Santana's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Pulse is weakening." Emily said. Ava was in the front driving the ambulance. "I need to do something about the drugs."

"We can't do anything here, just try to stop the bleeding we're almost at the hospital." Ava said. Santana's eyes opened wearily and she uttered five words.

"Quinn, just let me go."

Quinn moved closer to Santana's face and watched the girl's eyes close slowly. "Santana please. SANTANA PLEASE! FIGHT FOR ME! FIGHT FOR YOUR PARENTS! FIGHT FOR YOUR SIBLINGS! FIGHT FOR THE GLEE CLUB PLEASE SANTANA!" Quinn was screaming at Santana and sobbing.

"HER PULSE IS DECREASING RAPIDLY! AVA HURRY!" Emily frantically inserted a needle into Santana's shoulder to try and make her heart rate increase. Quinn squeezed Santana's hand as if she could wake her up.

The machine Santana was connected to that was tracking her heartbeat went dead. "We lost her heart rate, I'm going to give her CPR." Emily said as she started pressing against Santana's chest.

"Oh God please." Quinn felt Santana squeeze her hand one last time and then her arm went limp.

"We're here." Ava said. Emily swung open the back door of the ambulance and Ava and a crowd of other doctors took Santana out of the truck. They began wheeling Santana into the ER as Quinn ran behind them.

"Condition?" A doctor said.

"Suicide, Santana Lopez, 17, drug overdose and slit wrists, heart rate decreased until it stopped about less than two minutes ago." Emily said.

The doctors in the hospital took Santana away and Emily and Ava stood behind. Quinn kept running with the doctors but Emily and Ava stopped her.

"NO! I HAVE TO GO WITH HER! PLEASE. SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND PLEASE." Quinn collapsed onto the floor and broke down. Ava held her on the ground and rubbed her back. "I'm all she has, she's all I have, she can't die. Please God, not my best friend, not Santana."

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Sometime later Quinn's mother came to the hospital, Santana's parents were on a business trip so they couldn't come to the hospital. No one was able to reach them either so they had no idea about Santana's situation. Santana's doctor walked down the hallway and stood over Quinn and her mother. Mrs. Fabray followed the doctor a few feet away from Quinn.

"Mrs. Fabray, I'm Santana's doctor as you know, Dr. Sidenburg. As you know Santana had overdosed on pills and cut into two main arteries on her right and left arm. She lost large amounts of blood while bleeding out for a little over half an hour-"

"Cut to the chase." Mrs. Fabray said cutting Dr. Sidenburg off.

"Santana…Santana didn't make it. I'm so sorry." Mrs. Fabray raised her hand to her mouth and started to cry. She wiped her tears and turned around to deliver the news to Quinn. Quinn stood and smiled as she saw her mother come over. Her smile immediately faded as her mother drew closer and she could clearly see her face. Quinn wrinkled her face and shook her head no before her mother could say anything. Mrs. Fabray grabbed her daughters wrists and looked her in the eyes.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry, they couldn't save Santana. She's…dead." Quinn shook her head.

"No…no no no." Quinn screamed and fell to the floor. She began wailing on the cold hospital floor in her mother's arms.

In those 47 minutes Quinn was cradled in her mother's arms crying, her world fell apart. Her best friend since diapers had died, even worse, killed herself. And Quinn knew she could've saved her. If she'd just answered her phone, made sure the text was delivered, or pried a little harder, she could've saved Santana. Sometime while Quinn was lying on the floor she fell asleep and her father took her home. Later that night Mrs. Fabray went back to the hospital to be with Mr. and Mrs. Lopez who had found out recently. Mrs. Fabray called the Lopezs and told them something had happened to Santana, they rushed home immediately to their daughter's side, Mrs. Fabray couldn't tell them over the phone that Santana was dead, it didn't seem right.

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George Lopez drove frantically to the hospital while holding his wife's hand while she tried to hold back her tears. They pulled into the hospital parking lot, George jumped out of the car while Maribel just sat there frozen.

"Maribel let's go!" He said to her. Maribel shed a tear and George got back in the car.

"I'm sure she's fine Maribel."

"No she's not, I can feel it, something is really wrong. George what if something terrible happened. What if she's…dead?" Maribel choked up at the end of her sentence, George embraced her in a tight hug and kissed her head.

"Don't speak like that! God is always watching over Santana. He would never let anything like that happen to her." George said trying to calm his wife.

"Ok…let's go," Maribel said, not very confidently though. The couple climbed out of the car and ran into the hospital. They ran to one of the numerous counters and George spoke.

"Hi, George Lopez, my daughter Santana Lopez was admitted here today. We got a call that something happened to her by a family friend." He said in a stern tone.

"Oh! Dr. Lopez yes! She's on floor 3, room 15-" said the woman behind the counter. Before she could finish the couple had ran to the nearest elevator.

In the elevator tears had started to form in his eyes. The room where Santana was located was one for dead patients, ones who had arrived to the hospital with their lives hanging by a thread or already dead. He tried to hold his tears in until they got to the room. When the elevator doors opened on floor three they rushed down the hall and were quickly greeted by Mrs. Fabray who was pacing the hallway. Judy ran over to the Lopezs and embraced Maribel in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry." She said through tears.

"What. What happened? Where's Santana. Where's my baby?" Maribel said starting to cry again. George held her and attempted to calm her down.

"I'll get the doctor." Judy walked swiftly down the hallway to find the doctor.

"Oh my god George she had cancer, she had a seizure, she's paralyzed, she's in a coma, she got hit by a car and now she's in a coma. Oh god please save her! Please." Maribel screamed. George tried to grab her and pull her into a hug but she ran to room 15 and pushed the door open. She flicked the lights on, and immediately saw Santana lying the bed. Santana wasn't connected to anything. She just laid there, still, her chest didn't move at all. Mrs. Lopez ran to her daughters bedside and squeezed her hand.

"Santana, mommy's here. You're safe now. Wake up baby." George, Judy, and Dr. Sidenburg quietly walked into the room. "Santana baby. I'm here wake up. You're so cold honey." Maribel shook Santana's hand forcefully. "Santana!" Maribel's eyes flooded with tears. She grabbed Santana's shoulders and sad her up shaking her roughly. "SANTANA!" She said through sobs. She turned around to the three adults standing there and shouted, "WHY ISN'T SHE WAKING UP!? WHAT'S GOING ON PLEASE!?" Judy put her hand over her mouth and shook her head. "JUDY! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY DAUGHTER?" Maribel shouted at Judy through sobs, Judy let out her tears and walked out of the room crying.

George walked over to Maribel and tried to put his arms around her, but she pushed him away and ran to Santana's doctor, "what happened?"

Dr. Sidenburg cleared his throat and looked Maribel straight in the eyes, "Mrs. Lopez, Santana took her own life earlier today. She overdosed on the pill supply in your home then cut her wrists. She called 9-1-1 half an hour after she hurt herself so by the time the paramedics arrived at your home she was nearly dead. We could barely do anything. I'm so sorry."

Maribel just stood with her mouth open, her eyes began to water and she started shaking. Her Santana, her strong feisty Santana killed herself. Maribel started gasping for air and she back up into the bed that Santana was laying in. She fell to the ground as her tears started to fall. George sat on the floor next to his wife as she wailed. George tried to stay strong for his wife, but he began to cry also.

"NOOOO! NOT MY BABY!" Maribel screamed through her sobs. Maribel rocked back and forth on the ground in George's arms. Later that night she fell asleep and George put her on the couch in the small room. George left the room to go talk to the doctor.

"So Alex, there was really nothing you could do?" George said.

"George we tried everything, her heart stopped in the ambulance and they had to shock her to keep her alive."

"Well it didn't work, now did it?" George said through clenched teeth.

"George please. We tried everything, she was practically dead when she arrived at the hospital." Alex said.

"Alex what's one thing we never say or do with patients?"

"We never treat them like they're dead when they come to the hospital, unless they are dead."

"And was Santana dead?"

"No…" Alex said looking down.

"THEN YOU COULD'VE FUCKING SAVED HER LIFE." George yelled at Alex causing him to jump. George turn around and walked slowly into room 15. Maribel was sleeping peacefully on the couch, George walked over to the bed Santana was laying in and sat down. He took her hands and flipped them over, he was the bandages around her wrists. He slowly unwrapped the bandage on her right arm and saw the cuts she had made earlier that day. George's eyes started to water and he rewrapped his daughters arm. He took her hands and kissed them.

"Te quiero Santana." George said to her.

Santana just laid there. Not moving, not breathing, no pulse. Her lips were blue and her skin was pale. In a way, it looked like she was just sleeping. But this kind of sleep, she would never wake up from. No one got to say goodbye. Only the Fabrays and the Lopezs knew about it. The world let her go, this was her death.

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**AN: So that's the chapter! I know Santana died and Quinn isn't going to take it well at all! Her parents found out and everything. I've got a whole story planned out and maybe even a sequel if this story goes well. Thanks guys, leave reviews. xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for all the positive feedback and continued reviews. I really appreciate them. Enjoy the chapter!**

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The next day Maribel and George went home, they found the letter that broke their hearts, it was Santana's suicide note. George read it out loud to Maribel.

_Hi mommy, hi daddy, Cristina and David. If you're reading this I've done it, killed myself. It's hard to write that down, but it's done. I know you probably hate me for doing this and not coming to talk anyone, but you also probably hate yourselves for just telling me to "toughen up" and never asking me what was wrong. This one wasn't your fault though, it was the people in school. Specifically Finn Hudson, and that glee club. They don't actually care about me. Please try to understand this, the people in school, they think I'm a lesbian, but I'm not. It was all pretend. I'm not lesbian, Brittany and I were just friends. Please don't tell anyone that it was all an act, just let them think I was lesbian. In a little while you're going to see a commercial outing me to the whole state of Ohio. Lie. Brittany is going to tell you how much I loved her. Lie. I just couldn't to this anymore. I left a note for Quinn, Sam, and Noah, please give those to them. I'm so sorry I did this, but I couldn't stay here anymore. I was anorexic and bulimic since eighth grade, I wanted to be a cheerleader, I wanted the best body. Sue gave me an extra helping hand to do that. I don't know what else to write or confess to other than my love for my family. Thank you Cristina for caring for me through middle school, and David for looking after me until sophmore year. Mamí, Papí I will miss you so much in heaven or hell, wherever I am now. I know I'll see you all there. I love you guys so much. Thank you._

_Xoxo,_

_Santana Diabla Lopez_

Maribel broke down once again and George did too, they held each other while they cried. It was all to much, everything made sense now. Santana never opened up to anyone because she was hiding so many secrets.

"George I failed." Maribel said looking up at her husband.

"Failed what?" He asked.

"Being a mother, I failed. My daughter killed herself because she couldn't tell anyone about these secrets and they controlled her life. THIS FINN BOY OUTING HER PUSHED HER OFF THE LEDGE AND SHE TOOK HER OWN LIFE!" Maribel started to sob again and George held her.

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Quinn awoke that morning with a fright. She had had a dream that Santana had killed herself. Quinn could barely remember the events from the day before. She picked up her phone and tried to call Santana. Quinn wanted to call her and make sure she was ok. But Santana didn't answer.

"Hi this is Santana Lopez, if I didn't answer your call…I probably don't like you so…don't leave a message. Bye!"

Quinn remembered everything, her dream was her reality. Santana killed herself last night. Quinn stared at her phone's screen and let her tears fall. She aggressively sat down at her desk and took out her and Santana's photo album. She flipped through the pages looking at her and her best friend through the years. There was their trip to the Hamptons last summer with the Lopezs. Them on their first day of senior year, their first day of freshman year. Skiing in Vermont, swimming with Dolphins in the Dominican Republic. Everything had been documented there. It was too much for Quinn, everything all at once. It went so fast.

Quinn climbed back into bed and curled up with the teddy bear that Santana gave her in second grade. Quinn inhaled it's sent, it smelled just like Santana. Everytime Santana came over she sprayed it with her latest perfume so Quinn could have, "a fresh new Santana there with her 24/7," Santana always told her that whenever she would spray the teddy.

Santana had a stuffed animal from Quinn too, her's was a bunny. Santana was always with the teddy when she was having a tough time. Quinn knew about most of Santana's issues already, her eating disorders, her depression, and her lack of people she felt comftorable talking to. But this, Quinn would never in a million years think that Santana was capable of doing this to herself.

The doorbell rang and Quinn was snapped out of her thoughts. She climbed out of her bed and ran to the top of the stair case so she could see who was at the door. Her father quickly went to the door and opened it, it was Santana's parents.

"Hi Russel. As you know Santana took her own life last night. We know that Quinn rushed to aid her at our home and we wanted to give her something that Santana left for her." George said.

Maribel held out a letter and Russel took it from her.

"It's a letter to Quinn, Santana's suicide note. She left one for us, Quinn, Noah, and Sam. Please just give it to Quinn." Maribel said looking down trying to hold back her tears.

"Of course. My deepest condolences. Santana was a huge part of our lives too. We'll miss her dearly." Russel said stepping out to give Maribel and hug and shake George's hand. He watched them walk down the walkway then shut the door.

"Quinn!" He shouted as he turned around. He was startled when he saw her at the top of the steps.

"What's that?" Quinn said. She already knew but wanted to be sure.

"It's a letter, Santana left it for you." Quinn ran down the steps and took it from her father. She hesitated to open it.

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Her dad asked.

"No…can you just hold my hand while I read it?"

"Of course sweetheart." Quinn opened the letter and took her hand hand as she started to read.

_Hey Q. Quinn. There's so much I could write here to say goodbye. I wish I could tell you in person, but if I did you wouldn't let me do what I'm about to do. I'm dead, I killed myself. You probably already know. The past 17 years with you have been the years ever. You were the best friend I never deserved. I wasn't half the friend to you that you were to me. You were AWLAYS there for me, you were my biggest supporter. I could tell you anything, and you knew everything. Quinn, the hardest part of this was leaving you. I hesitated for you. Maybe I shouldn't have done this for you. I know my suicide has probably torn you apart. But I'm better now. I'm happier. I'm away from all my demons and that dreaded school. Please Quinn just know, it's not your fault. You didn't send me here, even if you had answered your phone and told me one million reasons not to do this, I would've done it anyway. I'll miss you so much Quinn. See you in heaven._

_Xoxo,_

_Santana_

Quinn dropped the letter and began to cry in her dad's arms. She was overwhelmed with grief. Quinn knew in her heart that if she had just answered Santana's calls she could've saved her. This would've been another normal day at school or they would've skipped and she'd help Santana get back on her feet. But now, she couldn't do anything. Her best friend was gone, this was her death.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while I've been at sleep away camp for the past 4 weeks and I'm going back again today for another 2 weeks. When I come back I'll update more. Also there is no need for hateful reviews, if you don't like the story then don't read it.**

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That morning everyone that Santana had called before began to receive and listen to her voice message. When classes started the hot gossip in school was about Santana. Everyone was wondering where she was and what happened to her.

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After George and Maribel left the Fabray household they went to Mckinely to deliver the news to Santana's school. Since Santana rarely missed school they assumed that people would sense something was going on.

When they arrived at the high school they went directly to Prinicipal Figgins's office. George knock on the glass lightly and Figgins waved them inside.

"Hello, you are Santana Lopez's parents. Yes?" Principal Figgins said standing to shake their hands.

"Yes." George said shaking the principal's hand then sitting down with his wife across from Principal Figgins' desk.

"So you called earlier and you have some news about Santana?" Figgins asked.

"Yes, we think it would be best if William Schuester and Sue Sylvester join us in here."

"Ok, I will call them now." Figgins picked up the phone on his desk and called for Schuester, Sue, and Emma Pilsbury. All three arrived quickly. Will sat on the couch next to Emma and Sue stood.

"So what's the big hullabaloo?" Sue said annoyed.

"Yes, something happened to Santana?" Emma said nervously.

"She called me last night and left a message." Everyone turned to look at William. "She called everyone in the glee club and said she needed someone to talk to. What happened to her? Is she ok?"

Maribel looked Will in the eyes, "Play the message she left you."

"What?" Will said shocked.

"She left you a message, play it."

"Ok…" Will took out his phone and played the message. Santana's voice spread through the room through the phone and Maribel cried silently to herself.

"Hi Mr. Schue. It's Santana Lopez, you gave us your numbers when we did that alcohol week, anyway I really need someone to take to now. I…I…I am not taking this whole thing…very well. Please just call me back or have anyone call me at this number."

The message ended.

"Where is she?" Will said.

George opened his mouth to speak, but Maribel took over. "This week in school, a boy named Finn Hudson outed Santana in front of the entire class. Apparently there is a new commercial from Sue's opponent for governor that outs Santana to the whole state. Last night Santana killed herself." Maribel said sternly.

"Oh god…" Will said.

"LOPEZ? SANTANA?!" Sue said shocked. George nodded. Sue stormed out of Figgins's office.

"She wrote us a letter, and also confessed that she had an eating disorder. Did anyone know anything about this?" Maribel said. Will, Emma and Figgins all shook their heads.

"How do you want us to deliver this news to the student body." Figgins asked slowly.

"However you want. Just give her the respect she deserves please. We know she wasn't a favorite in the senior class, but please just make sure they give her their utmost respect." Maribel said.

"Of course."

"And before we go, she left four letter, one for us, one for Quinn, and one for Sam and Noah. Please give these to Sam and Noah." George held the letters out and Will took them.

"So sorry for your loss." Emma said hugging Santana's parents.

"My deepest condolences." Will said hugging Maribel and shaking George's hand. George and Maribel walked out of Figgins's office.

"How the hell are we going to tell the students that Santana is dead? That she killed herself?" Will said.

"Will, I'll help you tell the glee club. Then we can maybe do an assembly where they sing a song and then we can ask them how they want to tell the rest of the school.

"Ok we'll have this assembly on Monday. Have your glee club prepare this weekend. Good luck Will." Will and Emma walked out of Figgins's office and made their way back to Emma's small office. Emma sat at her desk and Will said in the chair across from her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emma asked.

"I don't know what to talk about." Will said putting his face in his hands. "This is Santana Lopez we're talking about. I've seen her cry five or six times Emma. And they were for little things, nothing like this. To go from crying to committing suicide. I didn't even know she was having these kind problems Emma." Will said looking up and beginning to cry.

"I know Will. I can't believe this. She seemed so strong, I though she didn't care what anyone thought of her. But everyone has a breaking point, everyone has secrets." Emma said taking Will's hand.

"We'll to it this afternoon during glee club. I'll give Sam and Noah their letters and we'll tell the group."

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The school day passed quickly and everyone gathered in the choir room for afternoon Glee club. Everyone in the glee club minus Quinn and Santana were there chatting away about Santana. Some had ideas of where she was and others just thought she was faking for attention or to amp her popularity. Will walked into the room with Emma behind him and quieted down the group. He took a seat on a stool and Emma stood beside him with her hand on his shoulder.

"Hi everyone, good afternoon." Everyone just stared at William and could see the hurt in his eyes. "As you all know, Santana was outed this week to the entire school, and soon will be outed to the whole state of Ohio. Last night everyone in the glee club received a call from Santana asking for help, no one answered. She had a very rough night last night, and it didn't end well. Ummm…Santana…she…she…" Will choked up and covered his face with his hand.

Sam spoke up, "Mr. Schue where is Santana?" He asked.

"Yea where is she?" Mercedes said next.

"Guys we all need to calm down!" Rachel said standing up from her seat. Everyone turned to look at her. "This is Santana we're talking about! We all know she can dish it out, but she can't take it back! She's probably just faking! She's fine, probably just sitting at home and basking in her glory! She's going to turn up to school on Monday and be even more popular!"

"Rachel." Emma said. Rachel looked at her.

"What." Rachel said harshly.

"Santana is dead." Rachel's jaw dropped and she sat down. Gasps were heard around the room. "She killed herself last night. Quinn found her in bathroom and went to the hospital with her." Emma stood in silence and watched the students take in the news. Brittany stood and ran out of the choir room sobbing. Sam had started to cry silently to himself as did the rest of the glee club. Finn just glared into the distance realizing what he had done.

"Oh my god." Finn said. "I killed her."

"No you didn't Finn, don't go there." Emma said.

"She was already struggling to be comfortable with her self. I pushed her out and exposed her when she wasn't ready."

"Finn." Will said. Suddenly Noah jumped up and ran over to Finn, pushing him out of his chair and punching him in the face. Rachel shrieked and Will and Mike tried to get Noah off of Finn.

"YOU KILLED HER! YOU MADE HER DO THIS!" Noah took repeated shots at Finn.

"GET HIM OFF ME!" Finn yelled as Mike and Mr. Schue pulled Noah off Finn.

Mr. Schue held Noah's arms, "Noah, Finn did not kill Santana! Santana had her own demons and she felt like she couldn't deal with them anymore."

"Don't lie to me! You know that's the truth! He outed her to cause her pain! No one knows anything about Santana! She was so fragile…she didn't deserve this…" Noah started to cry and broke down. He sat back in his chair and Mercedes comforted him.

"Finn, are you okay?" Emma asked Finn.

"I'll be fine…" He said.

"Well. Santana's parents wanted us to give Santana the proper respect and announcement of her death to the school. On Monday Figgins wants us to do an assembly to honor Santana and tell the wrest of the school. Any ideas?"

"Where's Quinn?" Sam had finally spoken up.

"She's at home Sam, this all happened to her last night."

"Ok well. I have a song in mind." Sam said standing and walking to the front of the room. "We could sing 'Slipped Away' by Avril Lavine."

Mr. Schue nodded and turned to the group. Some girls were still crying and the rest just looked at Sam with weary eyes. "Sam why don't you take a seat. We'll sing that song, it is very appropriate. If you could assign parts to people tonight on Saturday we could work on it. Everyone I'm going to let you leave early. Someone please check Brittany before you leave. And Sam, Puck I'd like to speak with you after everyone has left. See you guys tomorrow at 10am. If anyone needs any help tonight please don't hesitate to call anyone." The glee club walked slowly out of the chorus room. Sam and Noah stayed and they walked up to Mr. Schue and Emma.

"What do you want?" Noah asked aggressively. Sam was looking down at the ground with teary eyes.

"Santana left the both of you letters. She also left one for Quinn and her parents. Here are yours." Mr. Schue said as Emma handed the boys their letters.

"Thank you Mr. Schue, Emma." Sam said. His name was written on the back of the envelope in Santana's handwriting. He ran his fingers over the writing and he felt her hands on his back. Sam walked out of the choir room and began to walk out of school. He took the bus home, he usually drove with Santana.

Sam felt like he had a connection with Santana and that they'd be together forever. He didn't believe that she was lesbian, it didn't make any sense. Santana had been faithful to Sam since they started dating in her Junior year and his Sophmore year. Other than Noah, Sam was the only guy Santana really had feelings for.

Sam walked home that evening and thought about Santana killing herself. He saw her lying in her own blood, taking pills, and her heart stopping. It pained him to even think she would do something like that. He could've answered his phone last night though, he was working and it was his break when she had called. He should've answered, he though.

When Sam got home he opened the door to his family's small apartment and threw his bag down on the floor. He sat down at the table and opened Santana's letter.

"Sam!?" He heard his mother call out. "Are you home?!"

"Yea mom, I'm here." He held the handwritten letter in his hands and tears flooded his eyes. He had never had to deal with something like this.

_Hi Sammy. I'm so sorry. I feel like I've failed everyone. If you're reading this I'm dead, I committed suicide. I know you're probably tearing yourself apart, but don't worry it's not your fault. Or anyone in the club's fault. I think I needed this. Sammy I really did love you. I know we could've spent eternity together and I'm sorry I had to do this and leave you. I know you probably will, but I'm telling you, move on. Don't live your life alone, or pretending that I'm always there. I want you to find a new girlfriend, get married, and have kids. I love you Sammy and I'm going to miss you so much. _

_Love, Santana_

Sam put down the letter and stared at it for a minute. It was a love letter and a suicide note in one. A hollow pit formed in Sam's stomach and it hit him, she was gone. He'd never get to kiss her again, he could never feel her warm, soft skin, he wouldn't hear her voice again. Sam cradled his face in his hands and began to sob. His mom walked into the room.

"Sam?" She said walking over to him. "Sam what happened?" Sam picked up the letter and gave it to his mom. She read it and immediately embraced Sam in a tight hug. She knew how much Santana had helped Sam when he first came to Mckinley and how close they'd become.

Sam pulled out of his mom's embrace, "Mom, I don't know what to do. Santana was my everything. I love her. I wanted her to be my wife, the mother of my children. No time soon, but I knew she was the one. Every since she smiled and waved at me in Breadstix on Valentine's Day. Now she's gone…" Sam choked up and his mom embraced him again. Mrs. Evans couldn't believe this either. She knew that Santana was an amazing young girl and could've done amazing things in the world. She never would think that Santana would leave the world like this, but this was her death.

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**Thanks for reading! Please leave reviews! **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hi so I'm back for camp for good now and school is starting up again. I've worked on this story a lot and know exactly where I want to take it. Thanks for positive reviews!**

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Puck took his letter from Emma's hand and walked out of the school. He went to his truck, climbed in, and opened the letter, reading it to himself.

_Hey Noah. Look, I felt like I had to write you this letter. We've seen each other naked countless times, you took my virginity. We've always cared for each other, in different ways. Sometimes we dated, sometimes we were friends. But we always cared about each other no matter what. Noah I love you and I always will, as a friend, and maybe more. You were my other best friend, or my best guy friend. I told you almost everything and you were always a shoulder to cry on. This isn't your fault Noah, it's my own fault. Don't blame it on yourself, or anyone else, I know you. Please watch out for Quinn, this is going to crush her world. Thank you Noah._

_Love,_

_Santana_

Noah looked through the wind shield and tears began to form in his eyes. The rage, he punched the steering wheel of his car repeatedly, honking the horn a few times. He screamed then started to sob. He rested his face on the steering wheel. He suddenly got himself together and started up his car. He drove in silence to Quinn's house. He parked his truck and climbed out. He walked up the short pathway and knocked on the door. Judy opened it.

"Hi Noah." She said reaching out and hugging him. "How are you taking this whole thing?" Judy said trying not to say what actually happened.

"I'm ok I guess. It's unreal." Judy nodded.

"I'm guessing you're here to see Quinn?" Noah nodded. "Go on up. She's upstairs in her room."

"Thank you." Noah stepped inside and walked up the steps to Quinn's room, he knocked on the door lightly. He didn't hear anything. He put his ear against the door and heard Quinn crying. He turned the door nob and walked in.

"Quinn?" He said scanning the room. Quinn was sitting on her bed curled up with the teddy that Santana had given her. Quinn turned over to face Noah and he felt a wave of hurt come through Quinn's eyes. He kicked off his shoes and got on top of the bed next to Quinn. He wrapped his arms around her and listened to her sob. It broke his heart.

They laid in bed and fell asleep, waking up a few hours later around 5:30.

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Puck opened his eyes and saw Quinn's blonde hair on his face. He unwrapped his arms from around her body and sat up. Quinn stirred and he grabbed his coat and put it back on. Noah opened the door just as Quinn opened her eyes.

"Wait." Quinn said sitting up and reaching her arm out.

"Quinn I should be going." Noah said.

"My mom won't care, you already got me pregnant once, you're not doing it again."

"True." Noah said shaking his head and coming back to the bed with Quinn. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Ok what's up."

"Did the glee club find out?"

"Yea, Santana's parents talked to Figgins this morning and then Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury told the glee club after school." They sat in silence and Quinn took in the information.

"How…how did everyone take it?" Noah stood and avoided Quinn's eyes.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Quinn shouted.

"Well…Sam just started crying, you know since Santana was his girlfriend and all. Ummm…Finn he immediately said that it was his fault, and Ms. Pillsbury naturally told him that it wasn't his fault. I…I punched him, and tackled him. She wrote Sam and I letters…"

"She wrote me one too." Quinn stood and walked to her desk where she had left the letter.

"You don't have to read it." Noah said to her.

"I wasn't going to…I can't."

"Well…On Monday, the glee club is performing an assembly where we, ya know, I guess… announce it to the school."

"Ok." Quinn said still looking down at the letter in her hands.

"We're going to practice on Saturday and Sunday in the morning and afternoons so we can get everything together. And Monday morning run through one more time. Can you make that?" Quinn didn't answer Noah and she kept her eyes fixed on the letter that Santana wrote her. A tear dripped from her eye and she quickly wiped it away.

"Yea that's good. I'll see you there. Goodnight Puck. You can see yourself out I think." Quinn sat down at her desk and began to write in a journal and acted as if Noah was no longer there.

"Ummm…ok." Noah turned and walked out of Quinn's room closing the door behind himself. He walked down the steps and turned around briefly when he reached the bottom to see if Quinn was joking or something, she wasn't. He opened the door and closed the door.

As he walked back to his car and drove home he realized that this Quinn he was seeing was a result of Santana's death. The true Quinn would never return, she'll never be the same. This brought tears to his eyes.

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**AN: Thanks for reading! Leave reviews!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hi guys so I finished planning out this entire story, I'll try and finish it pretty soon. Enjoy the chapter.**

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The next morning everyone was beginning to gather in the choir room. As people began to walk in slowly it became apparent to Mr. Schue that each student had a tough time dealing with the news of Santana's suicide the previous night. Many students walked in with blood shot red eyes. Quinn and Sam were the last to arrive, it was expected. Most people were carrying on their own conversations. Many were talking about Santana's death, others the song they would sing at the assembly. A few were just sitting and staring off into the distance, still in shock. Noah was one of those few, he wasn't in shock though, he was mad. At himself and the rest of the glee club for not answering their damn phones, and at Finn especially, for outing Santana in the hallway and ripping down her wall in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly the door opened and everyone turned to see Sam walk in. He was looking down at the ground, eyes blood red. He was clutching a piece of paper, Noah assumed it was the letter Santana wrote him. He walked to an open seat and sat down. The glee club held their glares on Sam which seemed to go unnoticed by the grieving boy. After a minute or so of silence the conversations began to pick up. Half an hour went by waiting for Quinn and she didn't show up. Rory finally spoke up and said something after those 30 minutes.

"Mr. Schue can we please get started. If Quinn doesn't want to come and show some respect to her 'best friend' then she's a bitch and doesn't really care. The rest of us have stuff to do."

"Excuse me?" Said Quinn who had slipped in the door silently and heard everything that Rory had said. Mr. Schue turned around to see Quinn standing there.

"Sorry Quinn." Rory said returning to his seat.

"Quinn, we had a time we were starting. And you're almost an hour late." Mr. Schue said to Quinn.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just…sorry I lost track of time, it won't happen again." Quinn walked to her seat swiftly. She looked a mess. Her eyes were blood red and were all puffy. She was in leggings and a big t-shirt, her hair looked like she hadn't brushed it. She was clutching the the teddy that Santana gave her years ago.

"Well now that everyone is here we can get started," Mr. Schue walked into the middle of the room in front of his students. "As you all know we lost an amazing member of this club on Thursday night, Santana Lopez. Principal Figgins wants us to do an assembly this Monday to honor Santana and announce her suicide to the rest of the student body." Mr. Schue paused waiting for a reaction. Everyones' faces were blank. Quinn was twiddling with the teddy and tears were rolling down her cheeks slowly. Sam was crossing his arms, slouched in his seat, and staring at the floor. Finn had on his guilty face and his eyes were red from crying. Brittany hadn't even showed up to practice.

"Well…Sam I a wonderful idea to sing Slipped Away by Avril Lavinge."

"Mr. Schue, I think that's a great idea." Said Kurt, standing and walking to the front of the room next to Mr. Schue.

"Alright. Let's get started!"

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The group sang and rehearsed the different formations they would sing in. They had decided upon Quinn, Sam, and Puck singing lead since they were the closest to Santana. Brittany would've been selected too, but she wasn't present at the moment. After practice they decided on the same time Sunday and they'd discuss Monday's practice after Sunday's practice. Quinn quickly grabbed her purse and tried to sneak out of the school, but she ran into Mercedes before she could leave.

"Hey Quinn!" Mercedes called after Quinn. Quinn turned around and stopped walking. "Do you want to come with Kurt, Rachel and I to lunch at Breadstix now?"

"Ummm…I don't think so. I'm just going to go home and…you know…" Quinn said slowly, but Mercedes cut her off before she could finish.

"Quinn. You're going to go home and do what? Mourn the loss of your dead best friend?" Quinn looked down, Mercedes was right. "Look, after lunch we can go to Rachel's house and watch a movie or something, cry together. It's just not right for you to have to deal with this on your own when we're all going through the same thing."

"It's not the same for me…" Quinn mumbled under her breath.

"What?"

"I said sure. I might as well. But can we not go to Breadstix…"

"Ummm…why not?!" Mercedes said slightly annoyed.

"It's just…Santana and I…we used to go to Breadstix every week starting in 6th grade and we tried to sit at every table at least once. We succeeded of course."

"And?"

"I just can't sit at those tables without seeing her across from me." Quinn choked out, tears forming again in her eyes.

"Sure Quinn whatever floats your boat. See you later." Mercedes walked past Quinn and out the door, Kurt and Rachel soon followed.

"Are you driving in your car?" Rachel asked Quinn as she walked by.

"Yea." Quinn said.

"Well get to it! I'll see you there!" Rachel said cheerily, almost too cheery for Quinn. Why do all these people seem so content? Fine with Santana's death? Her suicide! Quinn asked her self these questions as she walked to her car and she couldn't find the answer.

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Mercedes didn't listen to Quinns request, Quinn followed behind Rachel's car and she drove right to Breadstix. Quinn knew where she was going and had contemplated turning around and going home, but she knew Mercedes was right and she didn't want to go cry alone. So she kept driving and pulled into the parking lot behind Rachel and parked her car. She got out and walked across the lot where Kurt was standing waiting for her, Mercedes and Rachel had gone inside to get a table.

Quinn began to walk towards the door of the restaurant, but she was stopped by Kurt's soft hand around her wrist.

"Quinn," said Kurt as he grabbed her wrist.

"What's up?" Quinn said trying to sound as cheery as she could, which wasn't very cheerful at all. She could tell she failed at masking her sorrow when she saw the look on Kurt's face.

"How are you taking this?" He asked her.

"I'm fine." Quinn said attempting to sound confident, Kurt frowned.

"Really?" Kurt said. He gave her this look. This look that Santana used to give her all the time. It was a mix between, 'you can really tell me' and 'I know that's not true'. Quinn wasn't expecting it from Kurt, he caught her off guard and she started to bawl. Kurt wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. He walked her over to a bench near the entrance to Breadstix and sat down, Quinn continued to cry. Suddenly Mercedes and Rachel came out the entrance and saw Quinn sobbing in Kurt's arms.

"Let's go to your place." Kurt mouthed to Rachel. He pointed at Quinn, "Santana." He mouthed again. Rachel nodded her head and went inside to tell the waitress to cancel their table.

Mercedes sat down next to Quinn and rubbed her back, "Shhhhh. It's ok. Everything's alright." Quinn had gotten herself together while Mercedes cooed her, it really helped. Kurt took his arms from around the shaken girl and she sat up straight, wiping the tears from her face.

"Kurt, for the record, I'm taking this horribly. Imagine, your best friend kills herself, before she does this she calls you twice within thirty minutes. That means I had two chances to save her, two. And I didn't, I was taking a fucking bath. A bath. And now she's gone. Forever, and there's nothing I can do about it." Quinn said to Kurt.

Rachel came outside just as Quinn finished talking and Quinn stood.

"Ready guys?" Rachel asked.

"Yup," Quinn said. Mercedes and Kurt just nodded, their minds dwelling on what Quinn had said.

"Then let's go!"

"I'm going to ride with Quinn," Kurt blurted out.

"Ok…" said Rachel. Rachel and Mercedes walked towards Rachel's car while Kurt and Quinn walked towards Quinn's car. Kurt and Quinn walked in complete silence. Quinn unlocked the car and the two climbed into Quinn's blue toyota prius. Quinn pulled out of the spot and followed behind Rachel's car. They sat in silence for about 10 minutes and Kurt turned on Quinn's radio. He sat back and began singing along with Kelly Clarkson's 'Since You Been Gone'.

"Since you been gone! I can breathe for the first-" Quinn turned off the radio. "Well. I was enjoying that."

"Well I wasn't." Quinn said flatly.

"Why not?"

"You know Kurt. I get the feeling that no one in this little glee club actually liked Santana and they're happy that she's dead."

"Quinn! What would make you think that?"

"BECAUSE NOAH, SAM, BRITTANY AND I ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CARE!" Quinn shouted, startling Kurt.

"You're not the only ones."

"Finn only cares because he thinks he's responsible!"

"Quinn." Quinn stopped the car and wiped a tear from her face. "Why are you stopping?" Kurt asked confused.

"Look out the window, we're here." Quinn said pointing to Rachel's house on the right. "Tell Rachel and Mercedes that I'm going home. I'm not in the mood for this, have fun."

"Quinn, really?" Kurt said now annoyed.

"Really Kurt! REALLY!" She said getting in his face.

"Quinn please! Don't do this, don't be like her."

"What do you mean like her?!" Quinn was taken back by his words.

"Don't go put up a brick wall between you and the people who want to help you! Don't do this! You're going to end up just like her!" Kurt immediately covered his mouth when he uttered those words. "I'm so sorry Quinn. I didn't mean that…" Kurt said putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Get out of my car." Quinn said holding back tears.

"Quinn please come inside."

"I said get out Kurt." Kurt looked at Quinn with pleading eyes, she didn't see them though. She was facing forward in the drivers seat and tears were rolling down her cheeks. Kurt opened the door to her car and stepped out. He closed the door behind himself and walked over to Mercedes and Rachel on the sidewalk in front of Rachel's house. He quickly explained to Mercedes and Rachel that Quinn wasn't coming inside. Quinn saw them look towards her in her car, Mercedes began to walk towards her car, Quinn assumed she was going to try and talk to her. Quinn didn't want to talk to anyone but Santana now, and that wasn't possible. So she sped away in her Prius and drove through teary eyes back to her house.

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Quinn turned off her car and ran inside her house. She went up the steps quickly trying to avoid her mom.

"Quinn?" She heard her mom call behind her as she walked up the steps. She quickened her pace at her mom's voice and ran into her room closing the door behind her.

She practically dove into her bed holding the teddy from Santana and sobbed. She heard a knock on her door, she knew it was her mom and she tried her best to stop the tears but she couldn't. Her mom entered her room and saw her on the bed. Judy sat down next to Quinn and held her in her arms.

"Quinn, I know how much you wish Santana was here now. But she is in a better place for her now. And in a few decades, you'll be there with her. You will see her again, whether it's in your dreams or in Heaven one day. God has his ways honey." Judy kissed Quinn's forehead and stood leaving her daughter in her room.

"Everything happens for a reason." Judy said as she walked down the stair case.

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**Hope you enjoyed!**


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